Just when I thought I had seen it all. As if worrying about NoBorillas isn't bad enough. I step out my front door and WHAM, I see this crazy looking thing walking down the bike path. The only thing stranger than a sasquatch wearing tie dye is a sasquatch sporting a "man purse". Unlike the beast from the acclaimed "Patterson" film, I was able to follow this one quite easily. It didn't take long for me to realize it was headed for the post office. Why would a sasquatch need to visit the post office? To pick up its mail of course. Since I am tired of typing the word 'sasquatch', let's come up with a name for him. I assume it was a him, however, there were some man boobs goin' on so I can't quite be sure. Anyway, from here on out let's refer to the sasquatch as Mike. Simple name, easy to remember. So, the Mike picked up his/her mail and headed over to city hall. I chose not to pursue at this point because I was fearful that the Mike may attack if cornered. Apparently this happened anyway because I heard quite a bit of roaring coming from inside a few moments later. There was no way of telling what set off the Mike but he/she was definitely pissed about something. As the doors flew open I jumped behind a rock, let's face it, we have all seen the "Messin' with Sasquatch" commercials. The last thing I wanted was to be thrown through the woods. Lumbering down the path, the Mike was mumbling about injustice and wrongdoing. The only wrongdoing I could see was the outfit this thing was wearing. Seriously, how can you take something seriously when they aren't even concerned with their appearance? Although, it may be that it wasn't concern, just plain laziness. I had heard many reports before my own sighting that the Mike often drives to the post office. Maybe it was pissed about having to walk. That would explain the lack of hard evidence. If you have to wait forever for something to make an appearance you might not opt to take the time.
Some say the Mike drives a large van-bus type vehical. That makes sense, because I know that I wish I had a separate seat for each of my pieces of mail. Hopefully it has a bench seat as well for the occasional magazine. Perhaps we should feel lucky to have such a creature in our midst. After all, with something like that walking around I can feel free to ride a unicycle in a polka dot moo-moo and no one will notice.
3 comments:
I encountered this same mikesquatch near the post office the other day, it was sitting at a table and appeared to be selling girl scout cookies to supplement it's career as a self proclaimed genius?? But no, the treats that it was selling were cookies of a different kind, that being bullshit covered anti-city hall conspiracy theories in exchange for a signature.
I wanted to investigate further what it was selling, however it was feasting on it's own cooked up treats and my olfactory senses were terrorized by the foul odor of bullshit emanating from the breath of this beast and so I had to run for the fresh air of sanity.
Just goes to show you, before buying from a local bake sale, one needs to take a close look at the ingredient list and the baker which in this case was the much loathed and unpleasant mikesquatch.
Here Here Raven. You hit the nail on the head. The Mike is just like his wife who never could get anything straight...even when she was on council...
I think the sasquatches are just mad cause they couldnt leach insurance coverage from the city, so now everyone has to pay.
I'm sure you all know it was the little ??? Mrs. that started all the conspiracy acqusations. My she and the smartest man. or sorry, sasquatch rot in hell for their actions.
Keep up the good work No Bo Truth and welcome aboard Raven.....
You are correct luvthesite when you use the word "leach" when referring to this darling couple of nobo. She was on council flapping her gums about responsible budgets and spending our citizens taxes when at the same time requesting council to approve paid health insurance for council members, gee I wonder who was going to pick up the tab on that?
TALK ABOUT PERSONAL AGENDA!!
I laugh out loud whenever from this couple's mouths hear the words of looking out for the welfare of our town as their only true intentions, when in truth their deceitful accusations of wrong doing concerning the c/t and other city employees are not only lacking in solid fact but hatched out of a past grudge for not being allowed to sneak in an insurance benefit to themsevles paid for by you and I the citizens that they care so much about. Luckily we had a council on board at the time who were able to see what she and her hubby were trying to leach from the city and voted down their proposal and hence this couple's vendetta towards those they blame on foiling their plans for their selfish interests to be paid for by those that they pretend to care so much about.
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