Auditism...in depth and hardcore!!!

So, I stopped by the city hall yesterday and got a copy of the latest audit. OMG!!!! You would not believe what it contained! The horror and the sorrow I felt all at the same time. It filled my soul like a deep fried twinkie wrapped in bacon dipped in chocolate. Yes, they do exist and they are that scrumptious.
After all the years of wondering and questioning, it happened. The truth finally was revealed to the public. Do you know what it said? Can you imagine the issues and deceit that lay between the almost 4 pages of data? I say almost 4 because technically the first page is a cover page. There are only 3 pages that have numbers. Well, the first one and a half pages not including the cover page are realy only instruction and info about the audit. More of a basic, "this is what we look for and how we report it", sort of manual. So let's get to the meat of the report, the last page and a half.
Oh, the last half of the last page is a thank you note to the city for their cooperation, so it doesn't really count as it has links to an opinion survey and such. Form letter type items and general niceties. SOOOO, let's skip that and go to the part that really hits home. That's right, I am referring to the 2/3 of page 2 and 1/2 of page 3. Together they contain the most damning evidence that a full page of information could ever put in print.
Although, I do have to admit that, huge margins coupled with large title print, really take out about 1/4 of the remaining page. AAAAAhhhhhhh, only 3/4 of a page to expel all of the wrongdoing of our fair city! Well, not quite, there is a full line space between each paragraph along with a title for each paragraph. If you take out the title and space we aree looking at about 1/3 of a page of the most amazing notation ever seen, sort of....
The first 2 sentences talk about an executive session without attorney (back in 2008). Then the 5th and 6th sentences talk about a determination about conflict of interest in which the state auditor found nothing. The next 3 sentences refer to an expense for inner city travel (seriously?) that was paid to someone monitoring a city project. I assume this is a city planner. My advice would be to get a bike.
The last seven sentences speak to a $40,000 expenditure given by the council to someone working on Hamilton Creek. It states that the city believed it only had a few days left on a permit. Too bad the city planner was cruising around building up "inner city" expenses. Had he been at the meeting he could have told the council that they had close to a year left on the permit.
Let's tally up the numbers, 14 sentences of carzy talk. Our city is crumbling around us folks. What was that? Good, you were adding right. I haven't told you about the 3rd and 4th sentences in the actual part of the report. Apparently, our deposit fund in 2007 was over budget by $93.61.

HOLY SHIT!!!!!! They found the smoking gun. Almost $100 overspent 3 years ago. What treachery, abuse and corruption. Crap, nevermind, turns out that the money was accounted for but their wasn't an ammendment done to raise the budget. We almost had it! After all, I round off more money than that in a single month in my personal checkbook.
There was one more sentence of interest, bringing the total to 16 sentences comprising 1/4 of a page. It read as follows..."We are pleased to report no findings or management letter items."